LetTing Go OF Struggle

Life isn't easy. Add a chronic health condition and pain in to the mix and there is a whole new level of difficulty. For a long a time, I put most of my energy in to over coming my challenges and it's been hard. I've been in full battle mode, searching for the secret weapon to bring me better health. The idea that if I only worked hard enough, believed enough, I can overcome. I can conquer my challenges. But the essence of this approach is struggle and forcing, it felt hard and took so much energy.

Reflecting over the years, I've realized some key habits to let go of so life doesn't feel like a struggle.

Step 1. Let go of believing you are not enough

When we are going through life comparing ourselves to others, or where we used to be, you're often going to feel that you're not enough. I still go here at times and catch myself taking on too much or pushing my body too hard because I want to be "more". More involved, more active, more fit, more in control. Underneath all of these feelings of needing to be more, is a feeling that I'm not enough. Over the years, I started to see I wasn't accepting myself for who I am know. My standards needed to change and I needed to cut out the chatter of the "should " in my mind and be more present. Accepting my present, has helped me move forward in my life and make appropriate choices that support my health. The ripple effect is that now, I feel healthier, enjoy the moment more and feel I live a full life. I spend time enjoying what I can do, rather than focusing on what I can't.

Step 2. Let go of old identities

A chronic illness, brings a big shift in identity. You can't do things the way you used to. You don't have the same energy, it's hard to interact with others like before, it feels like others don't understand and see you differently and it is easy to feel isolated. I felt pretty stuck in trying to be what I was before - an engineer, a fitness Yoga instructor, a runner, a smaller size. These are some of the identities I was focused on that weren't helping me be optimal. Over time, with being more present in my life, and doing movement that helped me feel better, not worse, I came to be more accepting of who I am know. Life is way easier from this place and I feel better and am happy with my life and how I look.

Step 3. Let go of needing to be busy. 

This is a big one! As I became more mindful in my daily life. I began to ask myself these questions:

- Is this something I should be doing?
- Am I doing this in a way that works for me? Should I adapt? Can this wait until a better time?
- Am I doing this for the right reasons? Is it about what other people will think? About thinking I'm not enough? Holding on to an identity that isn't me?

When you ask yourself these questions, you may realize that you are making choices because of what you think others expectations are of yourself. This isn't always possible to put aside though. I have kids and they need me. This doesn't mean that I sacrifice my health to accommodate their needs. It does mean that I take time for self care so I'm optimal for them and myself. It means, that I say no to the extra things that creep in, so I can be optimal for today.

Ok, so how do you let go?

Do things that help you feel optimal. By this I don't mean a quick fix. Something you can connect to daily that helps you feel more balanced and reduces your stress level. That helps you be aware of how things in your life are impacting you and from that awareness you can are empowered to make positive choices that help you be healthier.

The path there for me that has been my Yoga practice. It has helped me have less pain and become more aware of my attitudes towards myself, and experiences in life. I'm more clear on what is important to me and can let go of what isn't helping me be healthy. I understand that who I am is not defined by a particular ability or role. It is really about the presence I bring to my experiences in life. There are many things we cannot control in life and I've learned to focus on what I can control and make better choices and let go.